Identity Crisis

Identity, irrespective of people admit it or not, everyone wants their own identity, fair enough. As to portray that they are not the same as the other 7billion on this earth; everyone wants to be unique in their way.
But at the cost of, ruining a relation? Or breaking a heart/trust?

“She/He has to come for what I am  …”    (line 1)
“This is what I am and this is what I will be I am not going to change for any one ….”  (line 2)
“If I keep changing myself one day I will not be what I was.”   (line 3)

Most times when I ask the question, why you guys break up, these are the lines that were thrown at me. But for me these answers sprouted more questions. But didn’t ask them as the questions of courtesy should end at that point.
Anyways here I want to express my thoughts on these answers.
(line 1) At first She/He came for what you are. So how can it be the same reason for you to break up? Could it be something else that you are missing?
(line 2) Priorities change. Per say, you wake up by 7 am daily. But for some reason office timings got changed or you are posted to a different branch. So you try to wake up by 6 or 6 30. Here you changed yourself for whatever the reason. So why can’t she/he be the reason for any other change in you?
(line 3) Time changes everybody. Now you don’t look the way when you are 5 years old. You don’t think the same way you already did if you are stuck in solving a problem. For that matter you might not be having same opinion about something what you had ten years before. So you will be never what you were. Perspective changes. Why can’t She/he might bring you a new perspective.

The only answer I can think of all these questions and the identity crisis is not actually about identity.
Prior to the point of break up, they actually do things that they don’t like for their partner’s happiness. They don’t seem to remember their so called identity at that point of time. But from then it can be two paths that leads to break up.
One is you keep doing things for her/him but not being reciprocated properly from your partner. Using technical jargon, a point of threshold reaches where you actually start worrying about the difference between what you give and what you get.
Two, irrespective of you reach the threshold or not, you might end up in a situation where you have to do something that you really don’t want to do or let go of something that affects your passion or any other big thing for you.
In the first case you could have open up and say what you feel.
In the second case you can tell that you don’t want to do it because of all your personal inclinations are in the other way round.

Both the cases, to end it or not is completely left to your discretion. But what I point here is Identity is not the reason for you to break it off. You do a million things that break your identity, but only thing is you are blind to notice that when you choose to do it.
The truth is Identity is just a word they use to defend themselves when they have to do something that they don’t want to do OR they have to let go of something that they really can’t.
That’s it! and this is not just limited to love or relations, we can see this crisis for identity everywhere. For me it seems like fighting a battle and win over in one face but you keep loosing it to yourself.
On a different note, I really want to know what identity is. I hear some people saying.
 “I am not like others, I do things differently …”
Is it really possible? Are they really unique? Are there really 7 billion different IDENTITIES living here?!!

Actual Penned Date : April 27, 2014