MY BOY
December 21, 2012.
A heavy storm brought me back to the hospital chair. The rain was almost faded leaving the entire scene in silence. Raindrops falling along the window making a splash sound was the only sound that echoed in the corridors. A baby’s cry shattered the silence. I thought that’s my baby. I looked at my watch its 11.55pm.
My friend came outside the operation theater and said “congrats! It’s a boy. A perfectly healthy boy. He was taken over to the incubator wing. Please wait for a while a nurse will come and take you to him.”
I sat back on the chair and started thinking about the day. “It’s Dec 21, my birthday, my wife’s birthday, our wedding anniversary and now my boy’s birthday also.” What a day it was in my life. I don’t know who told its going to be end of universe, its dooms day and all. But for me it’s the beginning of a new era in my life. I had a son. It is no more dooms day for me, it’s my day, truly and completely.
After a while a nurse came to me and said that I can see the boy. I followed her to a room where shruthi was still unconscious and my boy lay next to her in a cradle. I walked up to him slowly. The very sight of him made me ecstatic. He closed his eyes tightly and held his right hand downwards with fingers clutched and left hand faced upwards holding the white cloth in which he was wrapped. His legs were bent and looked very soft. He held his right leg finger tightly except the thumb finger and his left leg completely relaxed. He was so handsome. He smiled at me with out opening his eyes. I thought angels might have kissed my boy. I thought of kissing him, but I refrained myself as it may hurt his tender skin and I was also wet and not hygiene as I was wet in rain. I looked at shruthi she was trying to open her eyes. She tried to raise herself and wanted to have a look at the baby. I helped her to sit and showed the baby. ”See how handsome he is, he takes after you”, I said gripping her hand. She felt the same and tears rolled out of her eyes. I wiped them off and kissed her on her forehead. “You won! We got a boy. I lost; tell me what do you want me to do?” I enquired. She held my hand tightly this time and sighed that she wanted that happiness forever in her life. I brushed her hair, hugging her i conveyed that I will keep my word and make life more beautiful and happier for her.
Next day morning my mother- in- law arrived at the hospital and I went home to fresh up. I telephoned every one of my relatives and friends and quickly returned to the hospital.Most of my relatives and friends visited the hospital, everyone complemented “you got beautiful child!” Every time people said that I went back to the moment when I first saw him. “Shruthi is doing good and as it was a normal delivery she can be discharged in 3, 4 days ”, said the doctor. Generally I hate hospital aura, the smell of medicines and the long white pale corridors and people suffering from various ailments. Those things always take my mood away. That was the first time I felt nothing wrong with the hospital, no smell of medicines and perfectly happy aura, long pale corridors turned to be the way leading to happiness. Those 3, 4 days passed very quickly and we were back to home with our boy.
Again we started quarrelling, this time regarding name to be kept for our boy. She comes with something and I with something other. Thousands of names went by and finally after 2 weeks struggle we landed on “HAREESH”. We passed the name to our parents for the traditional check basing on the date, time of birth and all those stuff. They said that it was a good choice and it matches with his astrology and the meaning of the name is hanuman. Great everything came into our way. I got promotion in office and got hike in salary and work .
After 3 months shruthi’s Maternity leave was over. She has to get back to the job. I didn’t want her to sit at home idle, but at the same time I need her to take care of our boy. I was in dilemma. But shruthi was not. She resigned the job and kept herself at home to take care of our boy. He is the upshot of our love; we don’t want to leave him alone in baby day cares. I admire her for these kind of decisions. Every time when I was in any dilemma she takes the very right step boldly and confidently. She always beats me in decision making. I was so happy for that. She started taking care of hari and I continued going to office.
4 years went by. No change in shruthi. She was just the same shruthi when we had our baby. But I changed a lot and even I don’t know that. Over these years I was going higher and higher in the company. Earlier I was very clear in what I am doing and maintained a balanced life at office and home. As my level cultivated up without my knowledge I started working late hours. May be with a greedy thought that I should earn more money to keep my family happy, forgetting the very basic thing that my family need me more than my money to be happy. My frequency of calling her decreased, even if she calls, I spoke very few words and hung up as I was busy most of the time. 4 years back when hari was born, I thought I would do anything and everything for him. But now I was not even playing with him much. Only time I got was on week ends that too if I was not sleeping I was able to take out some time for him.
Slowly I became a machine like thing earning money. I hated myself for that period of my life. Shruthi, clever girl she observed everything, but she never stopped me and allowed me to what I was up to. She wanted me to realize myself. That day came very soon.
December 20, 2016
I was hurrying at the dining table to quickly finish my breakfast as I have to leave early that day because of some bloody meeting preparation. The earlier night I had a very bad head ache; didn't slept properly and was really in a bad mood. Shruthi had no idea of my condition and tried to remind me about the next day. I didn’t listen to her and she kept talking…. “Sanju? Are you listening to what I am speaking?” she said as she tapped on my head.
I got angry and smashed the dishes away and shouted “how dare you….. You idiot. Never repeat this.” I walked up to my room packed quickly my things, got my feet in to the shoes and jumped outside without even saying a bye to her. She was sitting in a sofa. She was lost and looking some where. Hari was crying and I didn’t even care to check why he was crying. I took my car keys headed towards office. I just recollected what had happened. After a few minutes I stopped my car and I took a U turn to home. I was angry on myself for what I have just done. I felt guilty and I have to apologize her.
I reached home quickly and rushed towards the main door without even locking the car. As I went in she was there cleaning the table and picking the dishes that fell around the table. She looked at me, with a broad smile she said, “See what you have done? Stupid”. I was more than shocked she should be angry with me but how come she talks like that with a cool smile as if nothing had happened. I went up to her and hugged her tightly and said “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done like that, I am an idiot, I deserve punishment”. I took her hand and slapped myself. She withdrawn her hand and hugged me saying “its ok, calm down, I can understand. I can figure out that you are having a tough time at office. It’s ok”. She started crying, I don’t know whether they are tears of happiness or sorrow my eyes got wet.
She released me and cleaned my face with her duppata and said, “you are running late. Go to office. We will go out for dinner today”. Everything went fine that day and I came home early that day, we went to a restaurant for dinner.
As we entered the bed room, I started the conversation.
“Aren’t you angry with me for what happened this morning?”
“hmm… I was but that just for a moment; I quickly came out of that. I thought you are having some problems at office. Life is short, forgive quickly and be friendly. Your words only”, she said winking at me.
“I will come to office from day after tomorrow. I enquired about play school for hari. I want to spend more time with you like before. I want to help you in the office also. Anyways after 5 months we need to admit him in to a school right?” said shruthi.
I didn’t say anything, just nodded to say its ok.
“How shruthi, you always make right decisions when I am in dilemma?” I enquired.
“No, I can’t tell you ,it’s a secret. But today I am going to tell you the secret. The thing is when you have to decide something you think about well being of me and hari and think about what will be the best to choose. You will be in dilemma if the path you have to choose is 50-50 choice. But when it comes to me, I never care to think about the choice. I just blindly select the second choice. Because, by the time you gave me the choice you will eliminate the bad ones. I just trust you blindly”, she said leveling the pillow covers.
I smiled at her and lay on the bed. She said good night and slept. I was unable to sleep and sat on the sofa thinking about that day. Till today I hate myself for loosing my patience and hurting her badly on that day. Its not just I hurt her, I hurt myself also that day as she was a part of me. But on the other hand I was very happy about the same moment which gave me a chance to realize and see where I was heading up to. I remembered the promise I made when hari was born. "I will keep you happy forever".
I slept with the determination, “yes I will keep her happy”.
The next day was going to be a BIG day in my life. Our birthdays and our wedding anniversary. I slept thinking about the next day…….
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