I LOVE YOU
December 21, 2016
I slept on the sofa itself that night. Sun rays find their way through the oval shaped large window as shruthi cleared the curtain with an intension to wake me up. As I rubbed my eyes to see clearly, she was in white color slips, she is gorgeous. Shruthi walked up to me with a good morning smile. I stretched my arms asking for a hug. She climbed the sofa on her knees and hugged me wrapping her hands around my head towards her heart. I too locked her tightly around her hip. “I LOVE YOU”, she said. “LOVE YOU TOO”, I said making my hands more closely and said “happy birthday”. “Same to you” she said kissing me on fore head, brushing my hair.
“Get up, go shave and have a shower quickly or you may be late. Go early come early in the evening. I have planned a lot for the evening”, she said rushing towards hari’s bedroom. I followed her and we both wished him happy birthday. He was still so young and not able to remember his birthday. I thought from next year he will be able to do so and even he would wish both of us also. I had a quick break fast and about to leave. ”speak to the boss about my rejoin. I will mail him from my side”, said shruthi closing the door.
Capping my ear with Bluetooth, I drove my car. As expected many of my friends and relatives called me and wished me. I reached the office and my teammates also wished me. I went to my boss to speak about shruthi. He agreed and passed an order to send her an offer letter. At lunch I had a small party with my colleagues. Shruthi messaged me to leave the office at 4. She was going to the parlor along with hari. We have to go to temple by 6 and followed by a party.
I m almost done with my work by 3.30 itself and took permission to leave. As there was some time left out I took a nap for a while.
“Madhuram, madhuram, madhuram, madhuram “ ,my phone ring tone cut my nap down. It’s from shruthi. “Hey I m done, I will be starting in 15 min” I said as I answered the phone. But it was not shruthi to whom was I speaking to. “Sir this is simhachalam, a private watchman. Your wife met with an accident at 3rd cross. We are taking her to the Apollo hospital near by. Come quickly sir”, he ended.
I was stunned to hear that and my heart nearly skipped a beat. I dropped my mobile, I was tensed up, I started sweating and I was out of my mind for a minute. Wiping off the sweat I got to my feet and rushed towards the hospital. It was the same hospital where hari was born. I hope charan will be there to see after her. Damn bloody traffic jam at 4 o clock. While driving I tried to call to shruthi’s mobile but it was unanswered for a while and later switched off. Many thoughts started filling my mind, unable to drive through the heavy traffic, not capable of changing gears also, my hands were sweating and gone weak. It was almost the same ride I experienced 4 years back on the night of shruthi’s delivery. But this time it was of more pain and tension. Hoping that nothing will happen to her I reached the hospital. I dashed towards the reception and asked for shruthi. They said that no one enrolled with that name yet. One accident case was being treated in 1st floor which haven’t registered.
Having nothing to do I quickly climbed the steps. Again the same hospital aura, smell of medicines and people shouting in agony. I felt some one drenching out my soul out of my body. People were moving around me, I felt everything strange. I stood there with no clue whom to ask. No sign of shruthi. I started running through the corridors and going in to every room desperately searching for her. Finally I lost myself and crumpled on to a chair. Then I saw hari crying and was unattended at the corner. I got to my feet and rushed towards him. I fell on my knees and hugged him, kissed him all over his face and checked whether he was injured. He was perfectly alright. I asked him where was shruthi. He pointed his little index finger towards a long corridor. The sign board on the starting of corridor read
PHARMACY – straight & right.
DORMITORY – straight and left.
X- RAY - left
BLOOD BANK – straight and second left.
MORTUARY – straight.
I was taken aback by the last direction, leaving hari there itself I started walking in the long corridor, still with a small hope. I can’t take this. My heart weighed over a ton. I can’t even walk then, my legs turned to be heavy and I slowly pondered on the corridor. I was out of my mind and just walking like a robot (can’t listen, can’t feel) toward the mortuary. I went up to the door.
“sanju ,sanju…” shruthi shook back to me the world. She was in front me and shaking both of my shoulders. I can’t believe that. “What happened to you? I have been calling you since you passed the pharmacy wing and you are not listening. Are you ok?”
She was perfectly ok. I just can’t express the feeling I felt that moment. Shruthi was there for me. I got my senses back. I hugged her and tried to feel her all at once and started crying. She rubbed my back with her soft arms and said “it’s ok, calm down, see nothing happened to me. I am perfectly alright. It’s a small accident”.
There was a small band aid like thing on her head. “What is this? is it paining?” I asked. “Relax; I hit a tree in order to avoid dashing a boy, that time my head was pressed a bit hard towards the steering wheel. I lost my consciousness. That’s it”. “No, we have to check it, we need to get a X-ray of it. Come let’s go”, I said. “Yea it’s already done. Charan is already here and he was looking in to this. Reports will come by tomorrow morning. He examined me and said nothing to worry. Come let’s go home.” Shruthi told as she took my hand and lead me through the corridor. Hari, mean while got a nurse to play with. Shruthi took his hand and we started to leave the hospital.
But something still bothering me, I was more than happy that both of them were safe. But I was no completely back to my mind. I was so depressed and can’t come out of it completely. One of the reasons might be about the X-ray reports. I hoped it will be normal. Shruthi didn’t leave my hand through out the way to hospital entrance. I was not in a position to drive. Shruthi who knows me well more than me asked for the keys.
“No, I will drive, its ok now.” I said.
“Its ok, relax. I will drive”, she insisted and took the keys. I parked the car on the other side of the road as it was messy at the gate when I arrived. Shruthi left us at the gate and said “stay here, I will bring the car.” I didn’t respond. I gave her a blank look. She came close and hugged me, “I am fine. Don’t worry”.
She started crossing the road and turned to look at me in between and she resumed crossing the road…………….
“NO……” I shouted as hard as I can, seeing the most cruel move made by god.
Shruthi was knocked off by a lorry. As she was looking back at me, she didn’t observe the lorry heading up to her. She was thrown around 10ft away from the place she was standing. I ran towards her and took her in my arms. She was bleeding as her head and chest part was completely busted by the lorry and the road. Her limbs were also curled up indicating a breakage in bones. Carrying her in my arms I ran towards the emergency ward and shouted for help. Immediately few ward boys came with a stretcher and we headed up to the operation theater. She was not moaning in pain, I thought she was not even feeling the pain. She kept looking at me as we ran through the corridors. She held my hand tightly which was soaked in blood. “I LOVE YOU” , she said. Slowly her grip was loosened and we came near the operation theater. No use. She was no more. My shruthi was no more……
“I LOVE YOU” those were the first and last words of her that day. Even I thought that was the last word of my life and wanted to kill myself. I collapsed on the floor and started hitting the floor in vain and shouted in pain. I asked god why only she, why not me? My questions were unanswered.
Next day her body was kept in our lawn. Many of my relatives and friends came to convey their condolences and spoke something to make me feel better. I sat near her in the lawn seeing her body. Not even a single tear fell out of my eyes. I felt like my life was also ended. I just didn’t want to live anymore. I was not able to see, feel or hear anything. Vacuum surrounded me.
“Daddy, Daddy…”said hari, sobbing and chaffing my chin with his little fingers to get my attention.
“Mom is not speaking to me daddy, she is sleeping. Wake her up daddy”, his words pierced the vacuum around me. I felt a small hope to live, hari. I hugged him closely to my heart and tears finally found their way out of me and I started crying like a kid even more than hari.
I felt hari was the only one left out for me. She left both of us with no clue how to pursue our rest of lives. I decided, from then every moment of life was going to be because of hari, for hari and by hari. We went to the burial ground for the last rites. She was there lying on the pile of fire woods happily and going to leave us alone forever.
After few days I with my friends and hari went to the grave yard where her tomb was made up of marble. My 6 years of life was enclosed in 6’ 5” X 2 ‘3” tomb.
I lean on her grave to feel her and lost myself. When I got up I saw hari in Wilson’s hands. He was a bit confused and a bit depressed. I thought he might have a notion but don’t know what exactly happened to his mother. I smiled at him and said “Let’s go home and play cricket.”
He quickly changed his confused face to smiling face and started laughing.
I can’t forget that smile till today, which gave me a cause to live……
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